Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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