Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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