K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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