Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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