I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Barsexuality is the new black.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
