fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
