I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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