Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
