Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
