Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
