So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
