may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
