The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
