I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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