Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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