the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
