I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
