i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
