my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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