Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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