Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize