I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
