I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
