The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
