dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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