if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
