I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
