You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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