And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
