I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
