Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
