And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
