you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
