sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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