I'm really into asian looking animals
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
