Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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