One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
