Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
