so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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