Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
