it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
