Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
