Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
