How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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