Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
