I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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