You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm passing your future prison.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
