at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
