So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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