So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
so let's talk penis.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
