please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
