just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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